Since my earliest memory, I have been educated and trained by my parents that I should be the most inferior, inferior to anybody in the world. If any of my attitudes or behaviors did not meet the requirement, I would get “educated” by anybody. That means anybody could rebuke me, teach me, even hit me to let me know I was the most inferior in the world.
And when I got offended, I couldn’t defend. I even had no rights to defend. When I needed somebody to do something for me, even if it was a deal I paid others, I should beg, and the other side could decide if my begging could be considered or not. If it wasn’t considered, I could only give up however important it was for me, because I was the most inferior, how could I think others should put any obligation on themselves because of the relationship between them and me?
I had been in that state through out my early life. And I knew what hell was.
Only when I started to learn laws, politics and wars, and when I started to know democracy, freedom, fairness, justice, dignity and honor, I started to get shocked. It is the beginning for me to know there are rights for everybody and we can defend our rights by seeking justice or honor. And nobody can be fair if they are arrogant in the relationship with others who are the citizens of the same country. And I started to seek the normal way of life and set it my thinking or behavior conduct. But it caused new problems when I worked and lived with Han Chinese. No Han Chinese thought I was normal. No Han Chinese thought I was right. I was in the conflicts with Han Chinese and they just thought I was the problem itself. They could accept an inferior me, but they couldn’t accept me if I wanted a normal and fair relationship.
Han Chinese just need others to be inferior to them to satisfy their personality state.
