Between interests, rights and traits, culture, personality

What should we defend when we get criticized?

Simply, we should defend fairness and our interests under the condition of fairness.

Then, how to define fair or not?

• Rights/obligations fair or not. When we talk about fairness, we should consider the rights/obligations in the relationship. Then, it is the first condition of fairness that the rights/obligations in the relationship are fair, normal and proper.
• Facts. Another condition is needed when we talk about fairness. That is citing facts, while not defining the people good or bad, or any way else.
• Proper way of thinking. Fairness can be considered some true statement. And a true state depends on the way of thinking. Then, fairness also depends on properly thinking.
• Right to criticize. I think we have the right to criticize anybody. Other than thinking criticism attack, I would rather think criticism a way of learning. If we think that we have to take the same consequence others have already taken if we are under the same condition, then, we should study the consequence and its conditions. And others just offered examples. And if we are honest enough, we shouldn’t keep silent if we have found something is really harmful. If somebody just thinks that criticism equals to offending or attack, he/she must be extremely narrow minded. And those people can’t learn. We also have the right to learn if others harmful or not, and it’s also a way of protecting ourselves. Human rights can’t mean that nobody can be criticized. After all, criticism does not equal to slandering, incriminating, or framing.

So, despite how unhappy we would be when we get criticized, we should think it fair if the criticism is made under the conditions of fair rights/obligations, citing facts, proper way of thinking, and the right of the criticizer.

And we should distinguish between rights, interests and traits, culture, personality, knowledge, ideas, the way of thinking, behaviors, attitudes, … If one of them gets criticized, it doesn’t mean unfair, or it doesn’t mean your rights get violated, or your interests get damaged. Especially when your own traits, culture, personality, knowledge, ideas, the way of thinking, behaviors, attitudes, … all or partly are against your own interests, even against your protecting your rights, not only is the truthful criticism not the attack (from an enemy), but also it is helpful to your own interests.

So, good criticism is critically or pivotal to our own interests. If the criticism is also constructive, it can cause our development. But why are there people who can’t get criticized? Why are there people who can only think criticism hostile attack? What kind of people are they?

Anybody, if they are psychologically not free, can’t properly understand criticism.

Then, what conditions would make people psychologically not free?

• psychological barriers
• pressure from the unmet needs, desires or because of the wishes or needs under threat
• improperly experienced feelings
• pressuring relationship like the one between the superior and the inferior (Such relationship also causes no truth for everybody but ranking difference, partial personality, pursuing to be arrogant, and the way of thinking (because of ranking position, while not anything else.))
• improperly restricted by some habits developed compulsorily
• the experience of being criticized with being hurt (It makes people unable to distinguish between criticism and attack.)

Unfortunately, Han Chinese are under all of the conditions. And some of the conditions are only for Han Chinese. It is one of the reasons why Han Chinese haven’t been able to evolute in more than 1000 years. They just can’t learn. They can’t even learn when others point out their evils. They simply think the criticism the hostile attack. And they think the criticism mostly hurts (because of the psychological barriers which themselves don’t know) and makes them sound the inferior, what they mostly fear.

Han Chinese have been showing the world how superior they are. But the superior arrogant Han Chinese can’t even distinguish between interests and traits. “You criticize our traits? You must be fighting against our interests. You must hostile. You are even hateful. You must be our enemy.” Han Chinese traits become interests, while not the elements which affect interests. But Han Chinese think themselves the superior, superior enough to be unable to distinguish between the above two.